I realized something today: Sadness is fear.
When you’re sad about something often times it is because we are telling ourselves fearful thoughts.
Here is a journal exercise that you can to do alleviate some of that fear and feel better in just a half hour or so.
Take out your journal and make two columns on the page.
On the left side write each thing that you are telling yourself that is a fear that is presenting itself as sadness. If it’s a break up it might be “I’ll never find someone who ____________.” Or, “I have something wrong with me.”
If it’s sadness over a material loss it might be, “I’ll never get _________ back again.” “I’ll never find another _____________ as good as that one.”
If it’s about your life and more generalized it might be, “Nothing goes my way.” “I have no purpose.” “I’m never going to be happy.”
None of these things is true. It’s fear talking. These are not statements of fact – they are fears. And that is all they are.
After you’ve made your list on the left leave it for a couple of minutes. Take some deep breaths. Re-center your mind and send out an intention that these are fears that are not true. Breathe in strength, and breathe out fear. When you look back at the page see the falsehoods in each statement. take a minute to look through each one. In the back of your mind you will know that they are false and you will know why.
Now on the right side of the page write the fear and write why it is false. Here are a couple examples:
“Something is wrong with me.” – Fear: You are broken in some unfixable way. Truth: The pain you’re feeling right now is temporary. It will get better and if you need help there are therapists.
“I’ll never find someone ______________.” – Fear: You’ll be alone. Truth: There are plenty of fish in the sea – having standards for who you will be in a relationship with is a good thing. AND you have friends and family to hang with in the mean time. You’ll find someone and if time goes by and you don’t you can always start a dating profile online. There are a good handful of dating sites to help with this.
When you get to the end of your list you should feel much better! 🙂 Breathe a sigh of relief and know that those fears were just simply not true. Sometimes a fear likes to stick around and you then need to rely on your spiritual practice and higher power – ask for help in realizing that fear is not the truth.
Leave your comments and other helpful ways of letting fear and sadness go below.